I Want To Believe
One of the many reasons I do mediumship readings is because I want people to know, like I know, that your loved ones are with you and eternal. They exist, are always around you, and are connected to you forever in love and by love.
I appreciate why people choose to come to a medium to communicate with their loved ones. Also, I understand you would rather communicate with your loved ones without using a medium.
Trust me when I say this: you communicate with your loved one. The brain will talk us out of experiences we can’t see with our physical eyes, hear with our ears, smell with our nose, or touch with our physical body. People want to believe but aren't sure. They want to hear convincing evidence. Some even want to hear that one piece of evidence that will "prove" their loved one still exists.
I get this. I understand this. I know you want to believe. I know you want to know. I know you want to feel the presence of your loved ones.
When I get a client who isn't sure about spirit communication, doesn’t understand the mechanics of it, or is skeptical, my reference to the X-Files TV show shows up in the reading. The poster "I Want to Believe" flashes in my mind. It is spirits clever way of letting me know I must acknowledge this desire and expectation to get what they want to hear.
Sometimes I successfully say what they want to receive from their loved ones. For example, the code word, the unique item, the particular memory, a specific answer to a question, etc. However, if that thing isn't mentioned, it isn't a failing of the reading or that your loved one isn't there. It isn’t a matter of if it is really them, they will talk about (fill in the blank).
For better or worse, they are working with my mind. I say that amusingly, but it is true. They are working with my memory, my subconscious mind, my reference base, and, as I mentioned, my library. Sometimes that thing is activated in my subconscious, so the library has the right book, symbolism, shorthand, or reference. Other times, the reference isn’t there, thus not in my awareness.
There have also been instances where I have worded what the client wanted to hear incorrectly. For example, during a reading, I am aware of a big-wheeled motorbike, and I say “motorcycle." However, the client said no to a motorcycle, and the predetermined thing to mention in the reading was an all-terrain vehicle (ATV) or a story about an ATV. Wording evidence is an art all on its own. In fact, after working in individual sessions with students and in my own personal experience as a medium, I believe most issues with evidence not being taken have to do with how evidence is worded.
When I was first developing as a medium and taking classes, I was taught that the medium should do most of the talking during a reading. It was the medium’s job to convey the evidence and bring through as much evidence as possible to provide the most authentic and evidential experience possible. I was also taught that a high standard reading should have approximately 80-90% of the overall evidence understood. This, for the most part, remains true. However, I know in the client’s mind that if the specific evidence isn’t mentioned, it may not matter if the rest of the reading is 100% accurate.
My suggestion to anyone going to a medium is to go with an open mind and little expectations on what should come through. Going in with an open mind and not having preconceived expectations of what should come through doesn't mean you don't have a standard for reading. The reading should still be evidential. Expectations of hearing that predetermined piece of evidence, first and foremost, can take away from all of the other wonderful, beautiful, and healing information that can and does come through.
My goal with my clients is for them to know that their loved ones are with them. You are the best communicator with your loved one. You can connect better to your loved ones than I or any medium can. However, if validation is needed, I hope that quality evidence from a medium will let you know that your loved ones still want to continue the relationship with you. They still love you, send love to you, and are grateful for the communication.